4.08.2009

Money Doesn't Grow on Trees

We have all, at one time or another, heard, or possibly even used, the axiom, "Money doesn't grow on trees." I would like to investigate this claim in two ways.

First, money is made of paper. Paper comes from trees. Therefore, money really does grow on trees, just not in a usable form.

But second and more important, we simply chose the wrong form of currency. When we first moved away from the bartering system (and why did we do that? Who first decided that paper backed by gold was a good idea?) and were debating what form of currency to establish, why did no one suggest, "Hey, why don't we use leaves?" Let me lay out some of the benefits of this for you.

1. No more poverty. Trees are everywhere.
2. Tree huggers would have even more reason to complain.
3. No need to go to the bank. Just go out back.
4. Congress could bail out big businesses with its own money, rather than our tax money.
5. Make a "withdrawal" while picking apples.
6. Security system stock would sky rocket.
7. And yet, there would probably be less theft. Why steal what is readily available in your backyard?
8. South American and African rain forest countries would be the richest in the world.
9. The phrase "1, 2, 3, get off my father's apple tree" would be justified.
10. Kids would suddenly love raking.
11. Fall would be even more beautiful.
12. And of course, "What, do you think money grows on trees?" would no longer be a rhetorical question.

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